Film

Secretary

Name: Secretary
Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy
Released: 2002
Cast: James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jeremy Davies, Lesley Ann Warren, Stephen McHattie

Steven Shainberg's dark comic romance follows Lee Holloway, fresh out of psychiatric care, who finds an unexpected sense of control through her demanding boss's discipline. It's funny, tender, and unashamedly kinky, treating submission as a path toward selfhood rather than shame. Anyone weary of romance movies that flatten desire into cliché should find this a strange, warm relief.

TMDb rating

6.8

If you liked this

Phantom Thread2017

Paul Thomas Anderson's exquisite portrait of a dressmaker and his muse locked in a battle disguised as courtship, where control and submission trade hands constantly. Gorgeous, unsettling, and quietly funny in ways you don't expect.

But Glacial pacing and an arch, chilly tone can feel remote if you want warmth or a straightforward love story.

The Duke of Burgundy2015

An entomologist and her student maintain an intricate, ritualized dominant-submissive relationship in this dreamy, gorgeously shot film soaked in 70s European erotica aesthetics. Tender, not exploitative, and surprisingly moving.

But Deliberately slow and near-wordless in stretches; if you want plot momentum, this will test your patience.

Punch-Drunk Love2002

Adam Sandler plays a lonely, anxious man who finds tenderness in the most unlikely place, same year as Secretary and just as odd about how damaged people rescue each other.

But Surreal editing and an abrasive score make this a deliberately uncomfortable watch, far from a conventional rom-com.

The wildcard

Something you would not have found on your own.

Bonding2019no page yet

Both frame kink as a means of self-command and healing rather than deviance, but Bonding trades Secretary's slow tenderness for sitcom brightness, literalizing dominance and submission as literally just work.

A breezy, wickedly funny Netflix comedy about a grad-student dominatrix and her sidekick, treating domination as a day job with real warmth underneath the jokes. Bite-sized episodes, big personality.

But Broad tonal swings and a very short season may feel slight next to a full feature's slow build.

Nine 1/2 Weeks1986no page yet

The glossy, influential 80s erotic thriller about a woman drawn into a consuming power-and-submission affair. Stylish excess and a genuine ancestor of the genre Secretary quietly reinvents.

But Dated gender politics and slick visuals over psychology; it's more surface than substance by today's standards.

Happiness1998no page yet

Todd Solondz's pitch-black suburban comedy about desire, shame, and loneliness, unflinching and often horribly funny in ways that will make you laugh against your better judgment.

But Genuinely disturbing subject matter throughout; this is not a comfortable evening even at its funniest.

Lars and the Real Girl2007

A gentle, whimsical story about a man's unconventional psychological need and the community that learns to accept it without judgment. Sweet where Secretary is sly.

But Its softness and sentimentality may feel too twee if you're after heat or edge.

Blue Valentine2010

A raw, unflinching look at a relationship's rise and collapse, told with extraordinary performances and no easy comfort about what love actually requires.

But Unrelentingly sad structure with little relief; this one lingers in a way that isn't pleasant.

The Piano Teacher2001

Isabelle Huppert is devastating as a repressed piano teacher pursuing a dangerous affair with her student, unflinching about the hunger for control and submission underneath propriety.

But Far colder and crueler than Secretary, with a punishing tone that offers no tenderness to hold onto.

Fifty Shades of Grey2015

The mainstream, glossy studio version of a dominant-submissive office-adjacent romance—worth seeing just to notice everything Secretary does with more wit and psychological nerve.

But Shallow characters and clunky dialogue; it treats the dynamic as spectacle rather than genuine intimacy.

The Night Porter1974no page yet

Both films find eroticism inside a power imbalance that should repel us, but The Night Porter strips away any comic warmth to show how far that same structural idea can travel into moral horror.

A haunting, disturbing Italian drama about a former SS officer and a camp survivor bound together years later by a masochistic relationship neither can escape. Asks the hardest possible version of the question.

But Genuinely upsetting historical subject matter with nothing playful about it; this is a hard, punishing watch.

Crash1996no page yet

Same premise underneath—wounds turned into desire, damage rerouted into intimacy—but delivered through a sci-fi body-horror lens instead of a warm office comedy, the darker sibling of Secretary's idea.

David Cronenberg's cold, clinical vision of people who eroticize car crashes and physical damage, rerouting trauma into a strange new intimacy. Thrilling and alienating in equal measure.

But Deliberately detached and chilly throughout, with none of Secretary's tenderness or humor to soften it.