Film

The Barbarians

Name: The Barbarians
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Action
Released: 1987
Cast: Peter Paul, David Paul, Richard Lynch, Eva LaRue, Virginia Bryant

Treasure hunt

Two identical-twin musclemen rescue their adoptive mother from an evil sorcerer in this gloriously dumb 1987 fantasy-action romp. It's pure B-movie spectacle: bad dubbing, worse dialogue, outlandish practical effects, and the Paul twins flexing their way through sword fights and magic curses. Made for people who think *Conan the Barbarian* could use more camp and fewer brains.

TMDb rating

2.7

Should you watch it?

Watch it if you love rough-hewn 1980s sword-and-sorcery where earnest muscle, primary-colour villainy and a quest played straight make a cheerful, unpretentious pulp ride.

Skip it if you need polished effects or subtle performances, since the acting runs broad and the earnestness can tip into unintended comedy.

What it asks of you: a brisk eighty-seven minutes with little patience for slow build-up; it wants you to take its muscle-bound heroes at face value and enjoy the lurching momentum rather than scrutinise.

Not sure? Find tonight's pick in a minute.

If you liked this

Conan the Barbarian1982

Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role that defined muscle-bound fantasy cinema: it's gorgeously shot, genuinely brutal, and takes itself seriously enough to actually work. The template *The Barbarians* lovingly warps.

But Nearly two hours long, genuinely dark in places, and Schwarzenegger's accent makes dialogue scenes a commitment. Also, it's serious, which might make you want *The Barbarians*' tone instead.

Red Sonja1985

Brigitte Nielsen as a sword-wielding warrior, Arnold again, and the same intentional-unintentional campiness that makes *The Barbarians* so fun. It doesn't hide how silly it is; that's the point.

But Even by 1985 standards, the acting is shaky and the plot gossamer-thin. If you need coherence, you'll be frustrated.

The Beastmaster1982

A man with animal telepathy battles dark magic across desert kingdoms. It's gorgeously constructed B-movie nonsense with genuine charm, practical creature effects, and a sincerity about its own absurdity that's infectious.

But Moves slowly by modern standards. The spiritual-warrior vibe might feel dated or overstated depending on your patience for earnest '80s fantasy sincerity.

Not sure tonight? Get a pick in a minute, starting from The Barbarians

The wildcard

Something you would not have found on your own.

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad1958

The DNA of *The Barbarians* runs directly back to Harryhausen's template: a hero, a woman in danger, a wizard antagonist, and practical effects doing the heavy lifting. Watching this first reveals how *The Barbarians* updates it with twin musclemen and worse dubbing.

Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion creatures and Technicolor swordplay. It's the spiritual ancestor of all B-movie fantasy: a prince rescues a princess, fights a sorcerer, and tangles with a dragon. Influences everything *The Barbarians* attempts.

But It's nearly 70 years old and moves at a stately pace. The stop-motion, however brilliant, is slow and hypnotic rather than thrilling by modern standards.

Krull1983

A prince and his bride-to-be battle an alien invasion in a fantasy realm. Visually inventive, genuinely weird, and packed with practical effects that still hold up. It commits to its bonkers premise without irony.

But Pacing is glacial and the plot meanders. It's a slow-burn oddity that demands patience and imagination to enjoy.

The Dark Crystal1982

Practical puppetry and dark fantasy worldbuilding from Jim Henson and Frank Oz. Every frame is crafted with obsessive detail, and it has a haunting quality that elevates it beyond novelty.

But It's a puppet film in a 90-minute dark prophecy. If you need dialogue or humor, this will feel like a chore. It's hypnotic but austere.

Masters of the Universe1987

He-Man on Earth fighting Skeletor in a live-action adaptation that understands its source material is ridiculous and leans into it joyfully. Dolph Lundgren, bad accents, practical effects chaos—pure '80s wish fulfillment.

But The plot is thin, the dialogue is groan-worthy, and half the runtime is He-Man looking confused on modern Earth. If you need story structure, don't bother.

Deathstalker1983

A sword-and-sorcery romp with so much cheeky self-awareness it almost predates parody. Practically no budget, but buckets of charm. Perfect if you want *The Barbarians* but weirder and cheaper.

But Genuinely incompetent filmmaking in some places. The editing is rough and the effects are hilariously bad even by '80s standards.

Sorceress1982

An orphaned sorcerer's daughter trains warriors to fight an evil king. Impossibly cheap, bewilderingly plotted, and absolutely sincere about its fantasy world. Peak b-movie lunacy.

But It's barely coherent. The dubbing is atrocious, the logic is nonexistent, and the pacing is all over the place.

The New Barbarians1983

Post-apocalyptic warriors in a wasteland, low budget, practical vehicles, and the kind of earnest incompetence that's oddly endearing. It knows it's not *Mad Max* and doesn't care.

But Truly incompetent storytelling. If you need even basic narrative coherence or watchable fight choreography, this will test you severely.

Valhalla Rising2010

Both films use swords, sorcery, and male violence as their language, but *Valhalla Rising* inverts *The Barbarians* completely: where one is innocent spectacle, the other asks what heroic fantasy actually means. It's the sophisticated inverse.

Nicolas Winding Refn's brutal, dreamlike Norse-mythology film. A one-eyed warrior accompanies crusaders on a doomed voyage. It's violent, philosophical, and visually stunning in ways conventional fantasy rarely attempts.

But It's deliberately obscure, hypnotic to the point of alienation, and the violence is not fun—it's nihilistic. Zero plot momentum; pure mood and interpretation.

Eolomea1972

Both are underrated '70s/'80s cult films that swing for something larger than their budgets should allow. But where *The Barbarians* is joyfully stupid, *Eolomea* is patiently profound—proving that passion can elevate material regardless of resources.

A Hungarian science-fiction epic about survivors on a strange planet, shot like a grimy, philosophical fever dream. It predates much of what modern sci-fi borrows: otherworldly landscapes, isolation, existential dread. Gorgeous and haunting.

But It's slow, conceptual, shot on 16mm video, and deeply concerned with mood over plot. Dialogue is sparse and subtitled. This is purely for people who love weathered, strange cinema.