Film

Arachnoquake

Name: Arachnoquake
Genre: Horror, Science Fiction
Released: 2012
Cast: Edward Furlong, Bug Hall, Olivia Hardt, Gralen Bryant Banks, Tracey Gold

A made-for-cable creature feature where a Louisiana earthquake releases an army of albino spiders on New Orleans. It's exactly what you'd expect from a Sy-Fy Saturday night: enthusiastically stupid, cheerfully cheap, and committed to the bit. Made for people who want to watch giant bugs terrorise a city without anyone asking them to care about character development.

TMDb rating

2.0

Should you watch it?

Watch it if you enjoy creature features that take their B-movie premise completely seriously, with cheerfully overwrought disaster-movie spectacle and a sense that everyone involved is having a ridiculous amount of fun.

Skip it if you want restraint, sharp scares or convincing effects, since the giant spider work is rough and the drama between the human characters can feel perfunctory and stiff.

What it asks of you: Runs about an hour and a half, moves at a brisk clip, and asks you to meet it halfway on tone, switching between earnest peril and campy excess without much warning.

Not sure? Find tonight's pick in a minute.

If you liked this

Arachnophobia1990

A far slicker version of the same premise, with better pacing, genuine scares, and a script that trusts its audience to giggle and shudder at once. Jeff Daniels brings real comedy chops to the chaos.

But It's a studio film from the 90s with all the earnestness that entails. If you want pure creature-feature absurdity, the polish might feel too polished.

Eight Legged Freaks2002

Giant spiders in the Arizona desert with David Arquette and Kari Wuhrer actually having fun. Lean, fast, ugly-beautiful special effects, and it knows exactly how funny it is.

But The humour is front and centre—if you wanted something that plays this more straight, you'll feel the winking.

Tremors1990

The gold standard for creature features that work as action, horror, and comedy in equal measure. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are perfect, the creatures are iconic, and it never stops moving.

But Once you've seen it, you've seen the best possible version of this idea. Everything else—including Arachnoquake—lives in its shadow.

Not sure tonight? Get a pick in a minute, starting from Arachnoquake

The wildcard

Something you would not have found on your own.

Kingdom of the Spiders1977

Both films pit ordinary communities against animal hordes released by natural disaster, but where Arachnoquake is cartoon chaos, Kingdom treats its spiders as an actual existential threat. Same engine, completely different register.

William Shatner in Arizona as tarantulas—real, practical tarantulas—swarm a town. It's a genuine western-sci-fi hybrid with real dread and a apocalyptic finale that still disturbs. Shatner grounds it with absolute seriousness.

But It's slow-burn 70s horror, not action. Long stretches of character building and spider science before things escalate. If you want spectacle, you'll wait forty minutes for it.

Lake Placid1999

A giant crocodile in Maine with Betty White, Bill Pullman, and Bridget Fonda. It's dumb in the most lovable way, and the cast sell every ridiculous moment with absolute commitment.

But The creature design is rough even by late-90s standards, and it takes longer to get going than Arachnoquake does, for less payoff.

Anaconda1997

Jon Voight eating the scenery as an obsessed hunter, a genuinely terrifying practical snake, and some of the most fun you can have watching people be hunted in the Amazon. It's gloriously unhinged.

But The middle hour sags badly. By the time things pick up again, you might have checked your phone once too often.

Piranha1978

Joe Dante's B-movie masterpiece: piranha are loosed on a summer camp, and every frame crackles with invention and mischief. The practical effects hold up, and the script is sharper than it has any right to be.

But It's more intelligent than Arachnoquake, which means if you're here for pure turns-the-brain-off fun, the wit might feel like a speed bump.

The Lair of the White Worm1988

Ken Russell's delirious, operatic take on cult horror. Amanda Donohoe, snakes, ritual sacrifice, and nothing that resembles a normal creature feature. Hypnotic and deeply weird in the best way.

But It's art-horror, not action-horror. The pacing is dreamlike rather than propulsive, and the surrealism won't scratch an itch for straightforward monster mayhem.

Arachnid2001

A Spanish creature feature where a giant spider arrives on a remote island. Practical effects, genuine tension, and it takes itself seriously enough to create real atmosphere without sacrificing fun.

But It's slower than Arachnoquake and less interested in spectacle. The cast has less charisma, which means when things slow down, they slow down hard.

Ice Sharks2016

Sharks in the Arctic because climate change, with creature effects that are bad enough to be almost meditative. It's the logical endpoint of Sy-Fy's Saturday-night formula, which is either a selling point or a warning.

But There is genuinely no moment where it transcends its premise, even ironically. It's content, not entertainment—background noise for your evening.

Undercurrent2023

Both trap people in a location with an incomprehensible creature, but Undercurrent is interested in psychology and isolation. Arachnoquake asks 'how do we survive?' Undercurrent asks 'what does it mean that this exists?'

A three-part British limited series where an underwater facility encounters something in the depths. Claustrophobic, beautifully shot, and trades spectacle for genuine dread. Creature horror meets cold war paranoia.

But Nothing explodes. No city is destroyed. If you want giant monsters flattening things, you'll find this slow and controlled to the point of frustration.

The Vast of Night2019

Both draw their horror from the idea of something ancient released from beneath the earth, but where Arachnoquake shows you the spiders immediately, The Vast of Night lets you imagine what you're afraid of until the very end. Same premise, opposite instinct.

A two-person sci-fi mystery set in 1950s New Mexico, mostly dialogue, shot like a radio play come to life. No monsters visible until the finale, but the build is hypnotic. It's sci-fi as investigation and dread.

But This is chamber-piece sci-fi, not spectacle. If Arachnoquake is a fireworks show, this is a creeping sense that something vast is watching you. Entirely different thing.