Film

Cooties

Name: Cooties
Genre: Comedy, Horror, Action, Science Fiction, Thriller
Released: 2014
Cast: Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Rainn Wilson, Jack McBrayer, Nasim Pedrad

A virus turns schoolchildren into feral monsters, forcing a mismatched group of teachers to survive the day. It's a gory, absurdist creature feature that takes the premise seriously while maintaining dark comedy. A film for people who enjoy B-movie invention, graphic kills, and the particular humiliation of watching grown adults fight kids—well, zombie kids.

TMDb rating

3.0

Should you watch it?

Watch it if you enjoy horror-comedy that plays a gory premise completely straight, with sharp deadpan teachers squabbling while the chaos mounts around them.

Skip it if you want the jokes to land consistently; the gags swing between clever and crude, and the gore is frequent enough that its shock value can wear thin before the credits.

What it asks of you: Roughly ninety minutes, moving briskly with little downtime, and it wants you to laugh at things you may feel bad about laughing at, so keep your squeamishness and your sense of humor both ready.

Not sure? Find tonight's pick in a minute.

If you liked this

Tremors1990

A small desert town besieged by underground worm monsters; like Cooties, it's committed B-movie fun with genuine scares, creature design that impresses, and a lovable ensemble who get progressively more resourceful.

But It's a 1989 film, so the pacing can feel slack to modern viewers. Some will find the earnestness dated rather than charming.

Eighth Grade2018

A pitch-black comedy-drama set in a middle school where everything is slightly wrong. It nails the specific dread of institutional spaces and finds horror in social humiliation as well as monsters.

But The emotional core runs deeper than Cooties; this is less about fun gore and more about authentic anxiety. No actual creatures; the threat is quieter.

Slither2006

A small town is invaded by an alien parasite that turns people into writhing, grotesque things. Wildly inventive creature kills, genuine affection for its ridiculous premise, and a cast that commits 100% to the absurdity.

But Slather of body horror that goes further than Cooties; some find it queasy rather than entertaining. Paced like a drunk uncle telling a story.

Not sure tonight? Get a pick in a minute, starting from Cooties

The wildcard

Something you would not have found on your own.

Severance2022

Both use a fantastical inciting incident (infection / severance) as a pressure cooker for an ensemble, and both ground absurdity in procedural detail and character.

Corporate dystopia where workers undergo brain surgery to separate work and personal memories. Like Cooties, it's a genre-film premise (sci-fi thriller) that uses a contained setting and ensemble cast to explore something darker. Both are committed to their logistics while staying darkly funny.

But Moves slowly and asks intellectual questions rather than delivering action beats. The dread is existential rather than kinetic; if you want constant forward momentum, this will frustrate.

Night of the Comet1984

Post-apocalyptic valley girl survivors fend off mutants. A genuinely fun action-comedy that treats survival as an adventure rather than a tragedy, with wit to match its practical effects.

But Low budget shows; effects look dated even for 1984. Tonal shifts between comedy and action won't work for everyone.

Attack the Block2011

South London teenagers battle aliens; it's scrappy, funny, socially aware, and features genuine camaraderie between its characters. Proof that constraint breeds creativity and that fun doesn't require a studio budget.

But Heavy London accent and slang requires attention; some American viewers find the dialogue barrier real. Low-budget effects work won't convince everyone.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon2006

A mockumentary following an indie slasher killer; it's clever, funny, and genuinely loves the horror-film grammar it's playing with. Self-aware without winking you to death.

But The mockumentary format feels dated now. Relies on horror-fan knowledge; outsiders may find it more clever than funny.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon poster

The Cabin in the Woods2012

A horror deconstruction that earns its premise and lands its twists. Beautifully constructed, genuinely inventive, and best watched knowing nothing going in.

But If you know the twist, it doesn't work as well on rewatch. Some find the meta-approach exhausting rather than liberating.

What We Do in the Shadows2014

Flatmate vampires living in Wellington, New Zealand; mockumentary comedy that finds endless material in mundane supernatural problems. Warm-hearted, constantly funny, endlessly quotable.

But Mockumentary mockumentary—the format won't click for everyone. Some jokes land softly; it's not trying to demolish you.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil2010

A hillbilly home-invasion film told from the invaders' perspective; it flips horror tropes with genuine humor and makes you root for unlikely heroes in a beautiful wood.

But Relies on subverting expectations; if you guess the premise, the fun drains out. Some violence hits harder than the comedy warrants.

The Vast of Night2019

Both are period-conscious genre exercises that prioritize invention and ingenuity over spectacle. Both films do more with constraint than others do with millions.

A 1950s small-town mystery unfolds through radio conversations and period-specific filmmaking. It's meticulously crafted genre work—sci-fi masquerading as Americana—that proves you don't need budget to generate dread and wonder.

But Slow-burn mystery; most of it is dialogue and atmosphere. Pays off intellectually rather than viscerally; you must be patient to stay engaged.

Army of Darkness1992

Both embrace low-budget ingenuity and darkly funny tone. Both find gallows humor in survival scenarios and commit entirely to their premise without irony.

Ash Williams battles the undead with a chainsaw and one-liners in a cabin. It's pure comedic action-horror that knows exactly what it is and plays it with absolute confidence. A masterclass in tonal balance—genuinely scary, genuinely funny, never winking at you.

But Shot in 1992 on TV budgets; some effects are unconvincing now. The humor is broadly physical and won't land for everyone; some find Ash insufferable.