Siobhan Sharpe

Siobhan Sharpe runs Perfect Curve, the PR agency brought in to handle communications for the Olympic Deliverance Commission. She talks in a blizzard of hollow branding jargon, agrees with everyone in the room simultaneously, and seems constitutionally incapable of finishing a sentence with actual content. She wants to seem essential, and mostly succeeds by sheer confidence.

Hynes plays her at a pitch of total sincerity, which is the joke: Siobhan genuinely believes her own nonsense, so the emptiness never curdles into cynicism. The writing gives her a distinctive verbal tic — vague enthusiasm standing in for thought — and Hynes turns it into music, making a satire of corporate speak feel like a specific, deluded person rather than a type.