Scheisskopf

Scheisskopf is a squadron officer whose only real passion is marching — he wants tighter formations, better parades, and cares little for anything else the war might require. He barks orders with total conviction, treats drills as the highest form of soldiering, and climbs in rank with a confidence utterly disconnected from competence.

Clooney plays him with a straight-faced absurdity that fits the novel's logic perfectly: a man promoted upward precisely because he is so narrowly, uselessly obsessed. The joke is in the commitment — he never winks at how ridiculous he is, which is exactly what makes the satire land.