Evil Lincoln

A broken-down animatronic of Abraham Lincoln, meant for some patriotic exhibit, malfunctions into something considerably less presidential. He speaks in stately, Gettysburg-cadenced menace, threatening bystanders with the same solemn dignity a real Lincoln might reserve for the Union, which is exactly the joke.

The gag lives entirely in the contrast between form and content: a beloved marble-faced icon delivering threats with full oratorical gravity. Maurice LaMarche, a voice built for booming self-importance, plays it dead straight, and that commitment to solemn menace over a silly premise is what makes Evil Lincoln's brief appearances land every time.